Famous last words and a reality check....

OK so we’ll wait for the perfect time to start a family; when we are financially secure, have done all the things we want to do by ourselves, and when we have the time to dedicate our lives to parenthood and all that goes with it...........but of course it never happens that way!

So we find ourselves in an economic downturn, tackling major damp issues in what was meant to be an idillic 17th century cottage, both working insane hours, and expecting our first baby!

I went for my regular endometriosis check up with my trusted and long standing gynae, (who has previously advised we should start thinking about the whole concept of starting a family due to the fact it could take a while and may require assistance, even though we are both fairly young, and other than blocked tubes on my part), and he smiles pointing at something on the scan which I have to admit, I cannot even see; it’s a baby, or as he says, 'a sac'!

It’s our wedding anniversary and I am struck with this numb feeling, mixed with fear and excitement, then I smile. In many ways timing could not be more perfect. It’s not like the notion hadn’t been discussed - my period was late, but this is not unusual for me, and all the pregnancy tests that supposedly tell you 6 days before you are pregnant, had come back negative 3 weeks in, so we hadn’t really given it much more thought.

After the whole champagne popping, tears and shaking on both sides, we go back a week later for a scan. I can see a little pulsing dot which is our baby.

I seem to be spending most of my nights wide awake, so I try to pass the time by surfing the net and filling myself with fears ranging from the shallow 'I don’t want to be fat, what will I wear?' (hence mama-la-mode !), and the more serious 'how will I cope with juggling a business and a baby?'. Oh, and the worrying notion that my gynae announced at today’s scan, that I can only see him till 12 weeks, what then?

My local NHS hospital maternity services have a pretty bad reputation and I would prefer to have the continuity of care that I have had with my gynae, however, I am really struggling to find a private alternative outside of London. I keep seeing myself in labour, stuck in traffic on the A40! Scott has helpfully suggested that St John’s & Elizabeth's is a strong contender given its close proximity to his work. Great, so I can meet him there?!

I feel this journey is going to be a long one, and that’s before the baby even arrives!